Top 5 Things I Survived As A Child

1. Switching from white bread to whole wheat- Tell me, how many of you have gone through this and thought you would die without white bread? Okay...maybe not die, but become severely food deprived due to a reluctance to eat anything but this. I remember when my parents made that dreaded switch to whole wheat, I cried and claimed I would never eat a sandwich again (and trust me, growing up in my family, this was an everyday food plan for school). But no, I have clearly gotten over this minor bump in the road, as I am still alive and well as I write this post (and still happily eating sandwiches may I add!) And while wheat bread never gave me the quite the same amount of joy moulding white bread into butter balls did, I can safely say this is something your taste buds will get use to! 

2. Watching the last episode of your favourite television show- Ah, that bitter sweet feeling of finally figuring out how your favourite superhero was going to defeat their evil nemesis and save the world! (okay, let's face it...this is how pretty much all children's shows ended. And if it didn't end this way, you were probably not watching a child's show). But then what? The main character is shown surrounded by their friends and loved ones as a sunrise peeks its way into the distance. The main hero smiles, says some quirky line about love, life, always being friends, never giving up on your dreams (gosh the BS goes on and on) and then the closing credits come up with some epic music and pictures from their future lives (still surrounded by friends and having an ubberly awesome time might I add). And then you sit there at first, still tingling with excitement at how great the big battle for good was! And then...well, and then it hits you. You will never see this main character do anything again. Yup that's right. No more adventures, no more seeing them go days without end wearing the same outfit, no more "let's band together and use the power of friendship!" bullshit (really? like really?), no more corny one sentence slogans, just no more. And while this is still relevant in my adult life today, trust me there are other fish in the sea. You will have a mourning period of about one week where you will re-watch every other episode (possible in another language), youtube your favourite scenes, google endless images of the cast (be careful there are some weird fanfictions one) and cry yourself to sleep in your $40 fan made t-shirt. And then...and then you will find something else to watch. Trust me, that's just how the media works! And while I swear Ash from Pokemon should a 25 year old man, with the same gosh damn pikachu (who is probably level 99 by now or something), this show never ceases to amaze me at how ridiculous the episodes keep on getting. So believe me, good television shows end for a reason. And a good one at that!

3. Switching to basic cable- When my mother told me we were going from 150+ channels to less than thirty, I told her you might as well rip my other lung out because my reason for existence had just been compromised (jokes, although I had a minor temper tantrum). But seriously, what was I going to do for the remaining 4 hours I had after finishing my homework? Study? Heck no! Anyways after this decision, I was determined I would never going to be home that much so that I wasn't going to be bored. I would be out and about and doing something productive. And well, although this is not 100% true (I was probably over exaggerating), I can safely say I've probably been able to keep off about 10 pounds by not gluing myself to the television screen. So good job mom, good job.

4. Banning all pokemon, digimon, yugioh cards and beyblades in elementary- I seriously never understood the purpose behind this. Really, Mr. Principal Sir? Are they that much of a threat that you cannot just simply confiscate them and possibly build your own set of hallographics? A set that may possibly may fund your retirement! Anywho, I remember when these dinky little things were banned and all the guys in my school had a major hissy fit (I did too, but being a girl I had to keep my pain on the inside. It's okay, Michelle, it's okay). The boys then resorted to sneaking in their cards and then playing them after school. So in all honestly, what was probably supposed to be a smart move really ended up being minor rebellion and more free time for the boys to annoy us girls around at recess. JOY.

5. Not getting a pizza lunch- I know, tragic. Having grown up in a middle-income family, my parents never bought into this idea of paying an irrational amount of money for a measly half-warm, ugly square piece of pizza, an oversized cookie that tasted like cardboard and a juice box I could hardly puncture without spilling all over me. And although I agree with this, I find myself contemplating whether I'd do the same for my own child. I mean really c'mon, you're not buying the pizza...you're buying their happiness and inclusion with their classmates! I mean, think about it. Didn't it totally suck when everyone was lining up for pizza while you quietly unpacked your stupid whole wheat sandwich!? (okay, maybe I still hold some resentment). Everyone laughing, eating that dumb cookie that was bigger than their head, sipping on some artificial sugary substance that ended up on their shirt anyways. Oh how I envied them. But now looking back on this as an adult, I can somewhat see what my parents were thinking. By not buying into this program, they not only saved money but they also saved me from a lot of unhealthy food. And besides, once you get to grade 7, pizza lunches became lame...going out for lunch was the new cool!